James W. Meng

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Algorithms vs. Logarithms

When I was young, my granddad Jack periodically would go on abstract tangents in my presence, and clearly on purpose, just for shits and giggles, about how logarithms were the most important part of mathematics to understand. That notion was a product of his time. His mother would have been pleased.

I never had any problem understanding logarithms. They're a logical-mathematical construct when internalized can help you to understand the world at large if you have an high IQ and peasants fail to ever make any sense to you. Why does that black dude who lives in Italy have 2 million TikTok followers if all he does is criticize the likes of left-handed grape scissors. Nevertheless 20th century America required a lot of logarithms of you, if you wanted to make any fucking sense at all of what was actually happening in their ridiculous retarded peasant pipe dream economy. Want an in with a department store owner with an in with a Jewish banker with an in with an ultra-left-wing central bank with an in with an ultra-left-wing massive army capable of changing the outcome of any world conflict anywhere? Then you've gotta understand logarithms. Right? Well, we'll leave that question open.

And boy oh boy, did Granddad Jack understand logarithms. So much so that at the logarithmic peak of simultaneous anti-war and anti-nuclear sentiment, Granddad Jack convinced NASA and the USAF to launch the first commercial nuclear digital satellite into orbit, masterminding the entire process. The rest is history, but you mostly can't read about it because Granddad Jack was Polish nobility and as such 'Merica has decided to erase him and his kin from the internet. 480MBps via air in 1980 is not something the peasant field trash of planet Earth want associated with European nobility. So now it isn't. Such is the nature of democratic consensus. Hey, you, look at you, Nigger, look in the mirror, you won. I can barely get on the Internet Archive, and indeed was only able to do so via creating VLNLAB - of which only the initial ZIP file distribution was archived.

You shithole peasants want a very special narrative. Those who laid the cables across the Atlantic - well, you must have invented them; a sort of born-yesterday backwards Egyptian pyramid approach to life, that's you. The hardware supporting them, too. And the software. Right? Obviously. All you. You did it. Right? Right. You have Trumpian Shithole to build. So now SBS-1 lies in outer orbit, its hydrazine thrusters depleted getting it away from the outermost reaches of Earth's gravitational field entirely for circa 1975 insurance purposes. It'll never burn up in the ozone layer as you all wanted to prove your NiggerPoint (and as Aetna was contracted to deal with, should crazy accusations like yours have ever been brought up) and the whole lot of you are idiots and the weapons-grade plutonium inside SBS-1 will still be harmless inert material long before anything associated with the Voyager-1 and Voyager-2 space probes is, and the same for all the other nuclear satellites in orbit already that are far more risky (but which Aetna never, ever would have written a policy on.)

But you'll just sit around and do nothing. I know you will. You don't care. You don't normally know anything and you're a totally useless fucking loser. That's who you are now and it's who you always were anyway and I always knew it, about you. You'll found entire branches of intelligence agencies dedicated to producing propaganda related to the security concerns associated with "what happens if satellites are shot down". By "China". By "Russia". And everyone like YOU will sit around, on taxpayer dollars, being a Nigger in honor of Granddad Jack, who you never knew, whose satellite is still chilling out in outer orbit around Earth and never, ever coming down towards the atmosphere and towards y'all Niggers because it's physically impossible for it to do so. While y'all Niggers overpopulate and destroy Earth with your own emissions and try to threaten me with vague references about some fraudulent NSA company called "Fusion GPS". Yeah. That's YOU. Fuck you.

So what I have to say about logarithms today is - go away. Take your bullshit somewhere else. I don't care what you think you know about the climate unless you know who you are, by descent. Algorithms, however...

and now for an amusing inside joke that Russian speakers might understand...eventually